First off, huge congratulations on your engagement! You’ve just said "yes" to forever, and now the whirlwind of planning begins. But after the initial excitement of the proposal fades, you might be left thinking, What do I do next? One of the first big questions to answer is whether you want a traditional wedding or if you’re leaning towards something more intimate, like a micro-wedding or elopement. The decision will shape the entire course of your planning, so let’s break it down and explore your options.
1. Celebrate the Engagement!
Before diving into the details, take a moment to soak in the joy of your decision. Whether you choose to share the news with a big celebration such as an engagement party or dinner, or keep it intimate, this is a special moment for you and your partner. Share the news with close family and friends at a dinner party at a unique and intimate restaurant like Parlour 1886, rent the venue at the Historic Elgin Hotel and throw a party, or just enjoy a quiet evening together—however you choose, ENJOY THE MOMENTS!
2. Set the Tone: Elopement or Wedding?
The first real decision you’ll need to make is whether you want a traditional wedding or an elopement. Both are wonderful options, but they’re very different in terms of scale, complexity, and cost.
• Elopement: If you’re looking for something intimate, personal, and stress-free, eloping might be the perfect option. It allows you to focus solely on your connection without the pressure of a big guest list or elaborate planning. Whether it’s a destination elopement or a small ceremony in your favorite park, elopements are all about keeping it simple, stress-free, and meaningful.
• Wedding: If you dream of a larger celebration with family, friends, and a day full of details and traditions, a wedding is the way to go. You can plan a lavish celebration somewhere or or something smaller and more intimate at the, but either way, you’ll be planning for a larger event with multiple moving parts.
Take some time to discuss this with your partner and decide which path feels most authentic to you both. Once you have clarity, you can proceed with planning accordingly!
3. Get Organized
Once you’ve decided on the scale of your celebration, get organized! Create a wedding or elopement checklist that works for you. We suggest finding a checklist to start with and then making it your own such at this checklist at Brides.com. Even if you're opting for a small, simple ceremony, there are still some important tasks to check off—like choosing a location, getting the legal paperwork in order, and deciding on attire. Plus, you’ll love the feeling of checking off each task as you complete it. You can use apps or wedding planning websites to help manage timelines and tasks, even if your event is more intimate, or you can use trusty pen and paper. There are many apps and wedding planning websites to choose from, and we will discuss those in a future post, but here are a few of the most popular—The Knot, WeddingWire, Here Comes the Guide, Zola, and Carats & Cake.
4. Choose Your Venue (or Location)
The venue decision is one of the first you’ll make, and it will look different depending on whether you’re having a wedding or eloping.
• For Weddings: Start by researching venues that match the vibe and size of your guest list. Whether you’re looking for a traditional church, a rustic/modern barn like the Barn at Grace Hill, a prairie venue like the Clover Cliff Ranch, or a classy hotel ballroom like the Historic Elgin Hotel, finding the right space will set the tone for your entire day. Keep in mind that venues can book up quickly, so it’s wise to secure your spot as early as possible.
• For Elopements: The venue can be as simple as a scenic park or as adventurous as a mountaintop or beach. If you’re eloping, the location is usually more personal and flexible, which means you can choose somewhere meaningful to you both. You might even opt for a destination elopement, which can double as your honeymoon. Charming destinations like the Historic Elgin Hotel offer elopement packages as well as beautifully intimate suites to spend your wedding night.
Whatever your choice, the best elopement and wedding venue in Kansas can be found on the planning websites mentioned earlier—The Knot, WeddingWire, Here Comes the Guide, Zola, and Carats & Cake.
5. Set Your Budget
Regardless of whether you’re eloping or having a traditional wedding, setting a budget is crucial. Elopements typically cost less because they involve fewer people and less complexity, but that doesn’t mean they’re free! Factor in things like travel, attire, photography, and any special touches you want. For a larger wedding, you’ll need to consider everything from venue rental and catering to floral arrangements, entertainment, and even the bridal party. If you have family or friends who are helping with the budget, make sure you’re all on the same page to avoid any confusion down the line.
6. Create Your Guest List (or Not!)
For a wedding, your guest list will be one of the most important decisions you make. Start with the people who are a must, and then expand based on the size of your venue and budget. Remember, weddings typically involve extended family, friends, colleagues, and more. For an elopement, your guest list is usually much smaller (or non-existent!), often just you, your partner, and maybe a few witnesses or a close friend or family member. If you want to share the experience but prefer a small gathering, consider a destination elopement or a micro-wedding.
7. Research Vendors (If You’re Having a Wedding)
For a wedding, you’ll need to start researching vendors like photographers, florists, caterers, and entertainers. Ask for recommendations from friends, browse online reviews, or hire a wedding planner to help manage the logistics. Since weddings can take a lot of coordination, booking vendors early is key. For elopements, vendors tend to be less of a priority. You might only need a photographer and an officiant, but many elopement venues offer packages that include everything from officiants to photography.
8. Tell Your Loved Ones
Whether you’re eloping or hosting a wedding, don’t forget to share the good news with those closest to you. If you’re planning an elopement, consider a small family gathering or post-wedding celebration to mark the occasion. If you’re planning a wedding, you’ll likely want to announce the engagement to family and friends with invitations or a save-the-date card.
9. Marriage Counseling
When you’re engaged, everything seems so exciting. But while the focus is often on planning the wedding itself, it’s important not to overlook the lifelong commitment that comes after the vows are exchanged. That’s where pre-marital counseling comes in. More and more couples are choosing to attend counseling before their wedding to build a stronger foundation for their marriage. While not every couple opts for pre-marital counseling, it can be a game-changer for those who want to enter marriage with a deeper understanding of one another, strong communication tools, and a solid plan for handling life’s ups and downs together. Think of it as an investment in your marriage—one that can give you both a solid foundation for the many years ahead.
10. Enjoy the Journey
Wedding planning, whether big or small, is a journey. The key to remember is that this day is about you and your partner celebrating your love and commitment to one another. Whether you choose an intimate elopement or a grand celebration at the best elopement and wedding venue in Kansas, the Historic Elgin Hotel, make sure to savor the moments along the way and embrace the excitement that comes with creating memories for the rest of your lives.
Final Thoughts: Elopement or Wedding?
Choosing between an elopement or a traditional wedding is a deeply personal decision. Both options are equally meaningful, and the most important thing is that you’re creating a celebration that reflects your unique love story. So, take a deep breath, make a plan that works for you, and enjoy the wonderful adventure of being engaged!